Nil

When studying in India, almost all of my classmates wanted to come back to malacca....even though here is much more stressful compared to India, they will say "at least I'm in malaysia"...
After came back to malacca, they will find ways go late for hospital posting, give proxy...and will say "I don't want go back to melaka" on every sunday after saying "home sweet home" on every fridays...
Seem like back to own country and staying nearer to family aren't that inspiring at all... Guess there's simply too much temptation over here, this is not the only reason we can put the blame for it...Another one, it's your Attitude.

p/s: Get well soon, grandpa.

Xmas-sie

Oh, 2010 is going so fast and coming to an end soon. Life's busy, that's why never realise time passes this fast. So far surgery posting is treating me well, erm...it's really kind of hectic compared to last two postings I had. Went to Pak Putra last night for naan and tandoori, the food not bad. Reminds me of manipal. I love the naan especially garlic with cheese. Quarter of chicken with any choices of naan plus drinks, it costs around 10 to 12 bucks. Christmas and new year is coming, it's time to make a wishlist and maybe resolutions...lol
Looking forward to next week and visit of my cousins.

Unlucky

Today is not a good day. Feeling tired.

tee hee hee hee....

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
"Pooh!" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you."

Nothing comes easy

依然相信 ：一分耕耘，一分收获。。。
Everything need effort but not EFFORTLESS effort which we assume as effort. And still believing in karma.

Scholars

Scholar this title sounds nice right? It sounds something like topper in the class, very good behaviour or really not able to afford for education when they have the intelligence..This situation, kind of not true in our country. Simply you drag one fellow from the street, he will tell you he is on scholarship...with SPM result 3As, 4As and etc also can be a SCHOLAR. Some of my friends are complaining about pocket money given by scholarship provider is not enough. Come on, you've got everything you want (most important thing the medical education that you want), spend the money smartly lah... Some SCHOLARs are driving very big and gorgeous cars some more...Let's see how much they will do for our country in the future.

Generations

Just came back from family gathering...nowadays kids are so different, I still remember when I was at their age, was running around with da sweaty look, bully people and made other cousins cry, fighting for this and that...now all those young little cousins are sitting in living room with Mac book on the lap and Iphone in da hand...this is not healthy I guess...

4 days hols are ending tomorrow. I'm still feeling happy. wee wee!!!

Nil

当然啦，人不为己，天诛地灭right？难听一点不就叫自私咯。。。

It's holi- holidays

Finally, there's a four days of hols for us. Considered a long one. Looking forward to this weekend, gathering with my uncles, aunties and counsins all. Missed out two years CNY celebration with them. And Happy be-earlied Deepavali to all my friends and most important, Drive Safe. Ciaoz...

Commander

Another weekend is going to end soon...Haih, time flies. Watched a comedy last night, Life as we know it. It's not bad. Sent baby for a shower today, it's very clean now. Besides, get myself some good food for dinner. I'm feeling satisfied. I've figured out what's the problem with da washing machine in my hostel, get my laundry done smoothly. Recently, got to know some "good-for-me" truth. Oh, I really misjudged. Some people will just put your sincerity at the back of the brain or more appropriately at the ass. There's something you guys definitely have missed it.

Reputation, of course it's important for everyone. When come to da situation you've realised you always putting extra effort to maintain it, definitely you've done something wrong whether intentionally or unintentionally. But too bad, only human beings who treating friends with heart can see through. Others are blindfolded I guess.

p/s: duckie, doggie, monkey....where's da kitty? Oh, it's behind you.

Appreciated

Yesterday, was discussing with group mates in hospital ward whether the college will announce today as holidays. Most of us and even seniors said impossible the college will give us holiday. As usual after surgery lectures, 3pm, gotta head to another lecture hall for medicine lectures. The lectures last minute got cancelled. Replaced with SDL. I headed back my room to complete SDL in order to pass up before 5pm. Back from admin office, was fb-ing ...many MMMC-ians shared a link about Melaka Maju news from Star Online and apparently "day-dreaming" for a day of holiday. I commented on a friend's link , "If college not giving us holiday, how are we going to maju with melaka..lol"

Few minutes later, got a forwarded message from a friend saying that the college last minute decided to give us a holiday. After a short while, the facebook has many emotional shout out. Apparently, ONE day of holiday is really appreciated, no matter how you're going to spend it.

It's almost 2pm in the afternoon. Still seem unproductive. Anyway I really got myself a very refreshing sleep. It's good to have holiday. But I don't feel good on this day.

Nil

路遥知马力，日久见人心。。。

maybe that's what you think of me, but this is how I think of you as well...It's just fair.

When mind doesn't know, the eyes don't see

It is almost 1 week in medicine posting, another 5 weeks to go. The remained half of MBBS life is absolutely busy, hectic, tiring and yet interesting. I guess a time management lesson really into its role now. Many subjects to cover other than morning posting in Melaka GH. I felt very accomplished cuz able to clerk case from patient and made a diagnosis on my own. There's no more language barrier in Malaysia compared when I was in India. Another thing that make me feel glad, patients are willingly to share with us about their life even some of their dirty family secrets esp those elderly patients. They respect us as medical students, as future doctors and most important thing, they trust us. This really helps me a lot in the process of learning medicine and practising medicine. It's only one week and I'm able to imagine and picture how's another two and a half years going to be...I'm ready for it and I'm proud of myself.

Our doctors always tell us doctor's job is to cure sometimes, to relieve often and to comfort always. I agree with that. But doctor should know how to manage himself first before start managing his patients. That's what I always think.

Historic

Gonna start another phase of MBBS life in Melaka, one of the historical city of Malaysia. I love my campus cuz it has all the facilities it should have. I start liking Melaka, I know I will love it even more when I got my own transport. The coming 4 days there will be orientation for newbies, everyday 8am to 4pm will be sitting in conference hall. I wanna say thanks to my friends who bring me around these few days and coming few days.

满足

I wanna live in my own world with my loved ones, those who really understand me. I shall not explain more for anything I've done. You've screwed up every little thing, please stay away from now on, okay?

B3fore taking up books

It's has been weeks I didn't update any post. Half of the holidays are gone. Though I'm not going anywhere for vacation with family but so far still feeling great...I definitely have enough time to rest, to feed myself with good food, recharged and ready for semester 6. Everywhere seem very hectic and packed due to school holidays and raya holidays, finding a parking space is much more harder even in this small city plus the weather out there is killing people if gotta run errand in afternoon. Last Saturday, went for a trip with mum and her friends. It's not bad, just to pass my time lah..even with those aunties. LOL. Been staying at home for almost 3 weeks, will be away few days for KL. Period.

Hussle Bussle

Screw all the hussle bussle I've encountered in da last 72 hours and during da journey back to my homeland. I'm coming back forever, for good. Maid's fried rice is much more better than Snack shack's and Dollop's one. Home sweet home. From now on, all the post will be in Malaysia time zone (GMT +8.00). Gotta get myself some proper sleep on my long lost bed. Period.

Leaving on a jet plane

Title is quoted from a song, though leaving manipal in another 3 days time. Officially done with 2.5 years Phase 1 MBBS course in Manipal, it's tough but I got through it. Another 2.5 years to be continued in Melaka. I'm gonna miss this place, it's bored and nothing much here but it's definitely a very condusive place to study. The days I spent struggling to study in library, the sleepless night with caffeine as my companion, the palpitation I get during exam time, the time riding scooter in da rain on formal clothes and rain coat...I know it looks like a teddy bear. Awww, a bit sad..time flies fast...Anyway, I'm leaving here for good.

you-know-who-you-are

I will change it. And you don't break your promises.

Possible fate

This won't be happening to my boxes which are on the way back to Port Klang, right? Medical books which need for five years wei...and most of them are new. Gotta pray hard. LOL

Backache

Tomorrow, erm..should be today cuz now it's 330am in India, need to load da boxes into lorry in the afternoon and they will send it to Mangalore for shipping back to Malaysia. Only 7 boxes are ready, another box yet to be sealed in the morning, total 8 boxes I'm sending home...Damn tiring ...

7 boxes of books

Nil

 Good apology has 3 parts, "I'm sorry", "It's my fault" and "How do I make it right?"

~Quoted from a dying PhD holder~

Glee

I love this series so much. It's all about music. They use music to express what they wanna say. Though all da songs not sang originally by them, but they sing really well cuz some of them are Broadway singers. Glee rulezzz. I loike!!!!

Nil

"you can choose how you want to live your life, and i can choose how to live mine. but if you to tell me how to do it, take a good fuckin look at yourself first before you spout shit about someone else. It's their choice. Not yours."

Nil

"When you're down and have hit rockbottom, YOU decide whether to pick yourself back up or not....and there are people who are willing to help, no one ever said you had to do it alone."

累

Till now, only 4 boxes are packed. Yet to know, there will be how many boxes after finish packing. Very hard to estimate leh..I've bought 15 boxes but I know I won't be using all of them. Boxes will be shipped to Malsysia 1 week before we leave Manipal. If pack all the books into the box, means no need study for comprehensive exam? Lol...

Can't wait for holidays to come...Looking forward to days just online, sleep and get rotten at home. Tired of sticking all the boxes with masking tape, cloth tape, cut here cut there...damn tiring. Seriously, I hope mummy is here to help me.

Mega Project

Mega Project officially started today. What's that? Gotta pack my stuff and books into boxes, shipped back by cargo to Malaysia. There's monsoon season over here, gotta make sure to seal da boxes carefully in order to prevent water going in. Just now on experiment to pack da first box. Damn tiring la..maybe today having fever and nose flowing like tap water...I guess wasted too much of my ATPs for just sneezing.

Mum told me a surprise news two days back. Though never expect it will happen(yet to happen), but I'm feeling delighted. Hehe. Medicine posting is over today. Last day of posting, got a interesting case for discussion. A 23 years old, young lady with dextrocardia and recurrent seizures attack. According to seniors, such cases are rare in Malaysia due to different of living standard, I guess. Psychiatry posting is coming up tomorrow. I guess should be interesting.

p/s: 有些事情先检讨自己，也许会找到出路。。。干嘛要让自己困在那？累人也累己。。。逃避永远都不是解决的方案

Dedicated to Paul

Euro Champion 2008 and now they did it again, World Champion 2010

Man of the Match, scored at 116th minute

Viva la Espana

I'm really impressed by Spain players. They played well. Possessions was good. They've tried more attempts compared to Germans. Though German beer tastes nicer, but this time Spanish wine won. That's what I want. I don't like the beginning of the World Cup 2010, too many underdog teams won. Started to like it when Brazil and Argentina are out. Not sure whether Paul the Sotong really has psychic power, but you've made the right choice. I guess octopus will be tomorrow's menu for most of the Germany supporters. Go Spain!!! You're getting nearer.

"Awesome" World Cup

Awesome world cup without brazil and argentina, this is a good news for both germany and spain...Germany really played well just now. Argentina should really start singing "Don't cry for me, Argentina!!!" 

Watch the game while eating chic-kut-teh and yam rice, first trial out in india, it really taste good.

Hopefully spain will go all out for tonight's game. Torres, score more please. I wanna wear my newly bought espana kit during FINAL.

Nil

Just wanna write for some random updates. Surgery end posting test and viva voce session is over. Still okay lah..but not really satisfy with my performance. Medicine posting is up next. Two more postings to go, another 6 more weeks to go for me to kiss Malaysia homeland. I already order boxes to pack my stuff in order to be shipped back to malaysia. This year world cup seriously is not that exciting and interesting at all. I hope those great teams can make it to last but not seeing some teams just winning by luck. Til now, two finalist team for da previous world cup are out. Can't wait to go for a long holidays. Without books, without studies, without patient, without patient history taking, without hours of standing for case presentation...
I just want sunny days, blue sea and clean beach for me to relax. Used to say, rainy days induce sleep. Not just that, it enhances emo response as well. Tomorrow will be away for movie and some shopping. Hopefully can find a nice place to watch germany vs england game.

Door (Ranting version)

You think you're right, I think I'm not wrong either, at the end nothing can be solved. I'm trying to fix it, I did whatever I'm able to and my heart's up to, just that da door is not opened to let it all out. If I don't care at all, I wouldn't had give a shit about it. It's occupying my mind, consuming my energy and I'm mentally tired. If only "it's all up to you" in my mind, I won't be sitting here and writing this post cuz I've done whatever I can do. I just need a fucking key to unlock da door. Once more, don't take it for granted.
And thank God, there's still lot of beautiful things and good people to make me happy.

This post specially dedicated to a few souls whom had/have/having some significant meaning in my life from the past, past continuous, present, present continuous and on-going. From every encounters, I get to know who you really are when my mind really can't take it anymore. For you, you just lost da last chance to understand me further more. The funny thing is I thought you know me, at first. Like I said, never try, never know. I do not predict the outcome as long as I'm feeling happy right now. It's enough for me. I'm doing it with sincerity that I can swear to God about it and a little expectation a normal human being should have, if the outcome is not favorable or what I want, maybe this is da definite outcome. Everything will fade by time. At least, I've tried. No regrets.

Iphone 4

New iphone is out for pre-order and officially out in US on 24 June.

Nil

Had a basketball friendly match with MCON's girls team. Not bad huh, at least we won the game. Really used up almost all my energy. After that, went for dinner. Caught in the rain after finished, not able to ride bike back home. Spent around 3 hours at friend's apartment just waiting for rain to stop. Almost doze off at people's bed. Feeling very tired, last night only get to sleep for 4 hours cuz stayed up late for dramas.

Today was a looooooong day.

Boring post

Skyped with my sis last night, she told me to update my blog cuz da last post I wrote is like more than a week ago. Okay, this post specially write for you lah...if you're able to understand, if not, take out a dictionary to check for meaning since you're so free.
Today is my second day of OBG posting in Udupi hospital, as usual reached hospital by college bus about 945am. Dr. Parvati asked us go to OT (operation theaters). Wear da green and ugly surgical clothes, cap and mask, prepare to go into OT. Not bad huh, get to see 3 cases of caesarean delivery and abdominal hysterectomy (removal of uterus). First case of C-section, the patient is having uterine fibroid with pre-eclampsia. Second case, the patient is healthy and this is her second gravida, of course the baby is healthy too. Third case, it's an emergency case. The baby is under distress, mum is advised for immediate caesarean delivery. When da surgery is going on, we're hoping that the baby will be alright. After baby is pulled out from uterus by doctor, there's present of meconium in amniotic fluid. Paediatrician passed a tube through nose and mouth of da baby to aspirate da amniotic fluid. Thank god, the baby is fine. Last case is just removal of  uterus and ovary cuz the lady is having ovarian cyst with history of uterine fibroid. Some fibroid are still present though she previously undergone myomectomy.
Tired cuz standing for hours in OT. Okay, that's it, a boring post.

Karkala

I'm now having OBG posting in Karkala hospital. One thing good about posting in Karkala are no posting on saturday and everyday lunch time till 2.30pm. Since there's no posting yesterday, my friends and me went to a nearby island, St. Mary's Island to picnic. I'm glad that surgery posting is cancelled last minute so that more people going with us, initially only 5 of us. Got up early to prepare food. Everything were smooth, do not caught waiting for bus or boat for too long. We spent almost half a day in da island. Came back in da evening. A bit sun burn cuz apply not enough sun block. I'm shiny dark now. LOL.

One bad thing about OBG posting, the doctors are too busy with their work and  have no time for us. End up, I really don't know what are da things we supposed to know. So just read up whatever it is basic or things I feel it's interesting whenever I can loh... This afternoon went library, end up spending most of da time sleeping cuz da AC is cold and made me so comfy. I guess energy not yet recovered. Continue to sleep after came back from library. Till now, dinner time...I'm feeling fresh now. Guess will go library again after dinner since I'm not yet getting da textbook I wanna use.

感情用事？

Recently I'm always full with emotion, almost everyday. Mostly are da good one I guess especially during paediatrics posting, I'm feeling good when seeing those cute, healthy kids. And, realise how fortunate I'm when seeing those ill looking child with oxygen mask over da face and cannular on their hand.
Other people emotion let me know that how important I'm and how unimportant I'm to them. Though da process  to digest and figuring out emotion maybe tiring, unpleasant or pissed, but all da outcome is good and satisfying. At least till now what I've encountered. Maybe there's some still in da grey area, anyway, TIME will prove.

对没什么好感的人，我自己都会走远。。。对你就不同了，有时会有想整死你的感觉，你也算蛮特别的嘛，开心吗？敢爱敢恨不见得是件坏事，也许得罪的人多，至少是真心的。。。 总好过那些“努力”在当着圣人但却被人识破了他真正的想法。。可悲。

Tumblr's fault

Very lazy to update my blog recently. Quite tiring after back from posting, especially when need to read up for some topics. Paediatrics posting in Udupi is coming to an end next tuesday. I enjoyed da posting cuz I learned a lot from Dr. Saumil and Dr. Dinesh. except da part need to stand in da ward for quite a long time for history taking from patients and during case presentations...cuz da weather is very warm even da fans are spinning at maximum speed. Just finished supremo 3 on 3 basketball game. Quite satisfy with da result. Looking forward to next posting, OBG. But gotta settle paed end posting test on next tuesday.

哭

只有曾经真心付出的人 才懂得 何谓哭 为何哭, 再坚强的心
偶尔也会脆弱 心会痛 心也会感动

What to hold on?

Paediatrics posting at Karkala hospital is coming to an end tomorrow. Paediatrics posting will be continued at Udupi hospital. Seriously, only those rare and special cases interest me during posting. Those common cold, fever, cough...not really interesting though I'm not capable to diagnose some of them. I've started to feel a bit bored though babies are still cute. I wonder why those doctors do not get bored consulting and diagnosing da same illnesses and diseases. But when I look at their expression, they never give me da feelings they're feeling bored or  just da same old routine they need to do like that. They just smile when they look at healthy babies, they are being patience with those crying and not cooperative babies. I can understand the feeling of seeing a very sick child came to you today and he's running around actively da next day in da ward. It's a HAPPY feeling. I feel it but da passion seem doesn't last long in me. I guess there's lot more for me to learn. Way to go.

Nil

I feel like blogging but don't know what to write. So, continue from last post. The boy who admitted hospital due to pneumonia, he already recovered and actively playing around in da ward when I visited him. And he holding his dad's phone, playing with da camera function. The new sport complex is nice. I love it but too bad gotta leave this place in 4 months time.

Paeds

Today's my second day in paediatrics posting. Posted to a hospital in Karkala, 45 mins bus ride from my campus. Everyday leaves at 930am after an hour of lectures and back at manipal around 5 or 530pm in da evening. In these two days, seen some few interesting cases. Yesterday, a mum brought her 3 years old boy, he is suffered from pneumonia. Her mum complaint that he was coughing all night long thats why he is sleeping when  they're were in OPD..he only open his eyes when he is coughing. The mum looked pale and she cried while she's explaining to doctor. You know this remind me of what? It reminds me, last time I always had gastritis especially during exam period, sometime the pain made me not able to sleep. Then my mum will get up and massage my abdomen to make me feel better so that I can sleep and constantly check on me.

The babies are really cute. I'm just a third year medic student, nothing much can be done. Maybe some history taking, some general examination.. and holding some toys to make thos babies stop crying. LOL. More stuff is coming up next.

Replacement?

I've found that these days I didn't blog very often like I used to, maybe cuz I got myself a tumblr account. Blogging, for me, it's just let myself express feelings and thoughts other than let my friends knowing about life. I like da reblog function of tumblr, whenever I found da words or phrase I like, as in, it explained what I'm feeling now or used to feel or I think it fits in any of my friends' situation. I will reblog it. I always face problem composing post with da correct words to explain how I feel cuz I have not enough vocabs in my mind. Keep repeating da same word. I guess I've found satisfaction when I get to reblog those tumblr post which explain exactly how I feel, so kind of not really care about my Mr. Just A Crap.

Yea, end posting exam is over today. Conclusion is, I should have sleep properly last night instead of hugging da thick textbook and struggling on my bed. Get my ass out of bed at 430am to prepare power point slide for presentation which barely use for 2 minutes cuz lecturer was rushing us and wanna skip some of the slides. It's really kind of tensed to present in front of 6 lecturers. I almost eat all my words. Folio, detailed data analysis, reports, presentation...everything came in last minutes. This is indeed a long week. I'm feeling very relieved right now. Guess will hit da bed early tonight. So far, 3rd is great and I'm very thankful for whatever I'm having now.

Graphssss, Piessssss

I don't like doing those data analysis. These few days, after came back from posting, only sit in front lappie handling those data and reports on microsoft word, excel SHIT, power point. SIENZ. Two more days, community medicine posting will be over. Overall, I only like da field trip part but not DATA analysis. Now kinda looking forward to paediatrics posting, starting next monday. I like cute babies. lol..One more thing, happy welcome back to my scootie.

p/s: why nowadays a bit diff eh???it's not right...

Assures Me

I feel really sleepy for everyday 8am class. Almost every class, I dozed off. Community medicine posting almost coming to an end. End posting exam on this Saturday. Currently busy with data analysis and writing reports for every places that we've visited. Total of 9 including a WELL. LOL. Statistic department seem not so willing to  help us in data analysis. Now it's time to be greatful that we had MSP during 2nd year. Initially lecturers thought we don't know how to handling those data using computer so send us to statistic department. But the staff is not that helpful, we've learned nothing from them. Get back to classroom, each group took out laptops and working it on excel sheet. I guess da PG who in charged of us is surprised. I can see from his face.

Bored

Community medicine is really kind of bored lah... First two days of community diagnosis was kind of fun cuz it's something new to me. It's getting bored when come to 3rd, 4th, 5th day. Argh. Afternoon posting is very tiring la, keep on dozing off in class even in hospital. Yesterday, caught by lecturer some more. Haih.

ps: this post got a lot lah lah lah...Happy birthday, dad!!!!! Love you.

Exactly How I Feel

Tumblr Tumble Tumbled

Face it

A lot of stuff happened recently, in silence. People know that, might not in detailed, people just don't want mention about it. I noticed there's changes. Maybe you, you and you too. Don't jump into conclusion when you're not giving a chance for others to explain themselves. For one thing that happened, need not dig out all da past negative stuff and superadded to it. It's just not fair. Why not put all da positive thingy or goodie thingy or those little small favors a person had done for you together, just to convince yourself to give a chance to him to explain or your mind to re-judge everything?

It's just disappointing. Third year, everyone too free huh?

Nothing Gonna Change

Went to Goa last Thursday, it changed not much since my last visit. I'm still loving it. Walking under da sun with beer in hand, sitting at da shack, enjoying meal and da beach scenery. These 3 days, I hardly drank plain water but only beer. I hope can visit Goa again before leaving Manipal.

Today is my birthday. Kind of old, lol. Had a simple dinner with a bunch of friends. And thanks for those "predicted" surprise when I back at home. I'm happy but don't know how to express it.

Nil

Falling together

When it's falling apart, it gives you chance to put it back together. This is the time for others to see your effort and how much you mean it. I always believe, when you're being real to others and to yourself, I'm pretty sure they will treat you right. When you're really care, it's just hard to tell yourself not to think about it anymore. So try to fight for what you want before telling yourself "Life goes on, right?". However, do not ever pretend to care when deep down of your heart doesn't want to give a shit about it.

Nil

"It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it's even harder to give up when you think it's everything you want."

~quoted from friend's facebook shout out~

Devastated

I'm mentally and physically tired. My first posting is community medicine, too much of theories in da classroom is kind of bored. Today's first visit to a rural primary health care center is fun except it's freaking hot. Maybe Dr. Kamath is right, although there's only few health workers in da center but their jobs is to ensure health for a few villages...you might feel more accomplished serving in a rural area rather than earning big bucks in city. I don't know right now. Yet to know in future.

掉了

I like this song by A-mei. I always love sad songs. This is da 2nd time I'm blogging at airport. Airport is a sad place also, makes people emo. 10pm flight back to India. Next post onwards, the timing will be in India time zone. (+5.30 GMT). Goodbye Malaysia.

ps: 乒乓球酱小。。。弹来弹去。。。酱快。。。看什么？

Nil

A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.

Honest differences of opinion should never be permitted to destroy a friendship.

Never forget the days I spent with you. Continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours.

True friends stab you in the front.

true friendship isn't about being there when it's convenient; it's about being there when it's not.

Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.

I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay.

Even if we never talk again after tonight, please remember that I am forever changed by who you are and what you meant to me

"Your friends are what will matter in the end."

And I'm still here, waiting here, to catch you if you fall. I don't know why I care so much when I shouldn't care at all.

What are friends for, if you can't use them.

Piglet sidled up behind Pooh. "Pooh," he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you."

Never let your friendship die because of a lie, Tell the truth

GaGa & Beyonce

Nil

"People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they are right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. THAT IS WHY I BELIEVE THAT EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON."

~quoted from friend's facebook shoutout

What's going on

A friend of mine recommended Cougar Town, a TV series to me. I think it's an okay series only. But can't be denied that Jules is a cool mum, for that mother-son relationship and friendship with her son..Kinda way too cool for me, about her sex life. LOL. I guess my friend wants to have a hot and sexy mum :p

I think I'm way too too too lazy. Lazy to bath. Lazy to eat. Lazy to go out. Lazy to visit dentist. Even lazy to watch drama. Dramas are draining all my energy. By the end of da way, I just don't feel like looking at laptop anymore. Close my eyes, lay on da bed and just listen to da conversation. Now I'm seriously getting bored of it. Holidays is going to end soon. Yet so many stuff and problem not yet settled. Hope everything will be settled before back to India. So come on, gotta keep physically and mentally fit. Good night everyone. I hope I'm able to get up early tomorrow to visit dentist.

p/s: Coming to an end? Kinda sucks, right?

Halo

Finished watching 13 episodes of Glee in one day. Told myself wanna abstain from laptop for two days to let my eyes rest. At last, it didn't work out. Other than dramas and browsing facebook, I have nothing else to do. Internet is my current addiction. Few hours without it, withdrawal syndrome appears. Connection a bit fluctuating now. PPS loading is not smooth. I shall continue dramathon tomorrow. Doing some blog walking and listening to music. Then will hit da bed soon.

AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

ReasonSSSSSs beneath this....

Since when

Dad came back yesterday. It's our first family dinner since da day I'm back from India. Holidays going to end soon. As usual, I did nothing much. Currently watching two dramas now. Glee and House. I like Glee. It's good recommendation for those like musical stuff and high school story line. Last time, I'm not really into House compared to Grey's Anatomy and Nip/Tuck. After I've started watching it, not bad huh..A lot of stuff I've learned in med school during these two years. My eyes are red. I guess looking at laptop too much. Almost 24/7. So I think I should sleep earlier tonight and let my eyes rest.

Gotta talk

It seem doesn't getting better. Been watching HOUSE for da whole day. Tumour this word always appear. Now like a tumour stuck in my head. If this tumour is not removed, it will affect my action and speech. Hopefully, it doesn't metastases. Physician and patient gotta talk right? Just a lame metaphor.

The weather is killing. Argh.

18 days

5 mins to 3am. It's EARLY in da morning. Finish watching the last episode of Next, Happiness. Officially finished 3 dramas in one week time. Gotta decide what drama to watch next. As usual, gonna blog a post before I go to bed. Went out for shopping again with mum after dinner. But spent lesser compared to yesterday. A few things in my list still not yet buy, I guess only will look for it when I'm in KL. More choices. Bumped into two primary school friends at Old Town when yumcha with mum. One of them going to Germany on Tuesday for student exchange programme whereas another one graduating next year. Argh, I have another 3 years to go. Played some fire crackers with bro after he came back from tuition, kind of fun. Mum was laughing at us by the side.

Oh, another brand new week is starting tomorrow, means mum and bro gotta go to school. I will feel bored again. I complained "sienz" during study break, now I feel damn bored during holidays. Such a dilemma. But I'm happy with one thing. everyday I get enough sleep.

Tonight's conn is good...

p/s: A lot of stuff 还想不通。。。eg: still thinking whether wanna get myself a camera. Running out of idea for title of the post. Suddenly think of a song named 18days. By the way, I'm not counting down the days for going back to India.

Saturday

Don't know what title to put for this post but I know today is weekend.Woke up from a 10 hours sleep, around 12pm today. Ate my brunch without cleaning up myself first. I guess today I'm not that bored. Mum brought me and sis out to mall but lil bro went fro school activity. At first, thought just wanna have a walk to pass my time. Had our dinner at a newly opened canton restaurant, considered new for me cuz is my 1st time there.The food quite nice. At last, spent a few hundred bucks on shopping. After shopping, went to mamak for drinks at the same time waiting for clock to tick at 11pm, gotta pick up bro from school. By the way, I didn't go to church today. Hehe.

Back at home, start drama-ing again. I hate streamyx lah...it always dc during midnight. ish..

The thing I want still not yet come to me. Wanna stop thinking about it but it is just not happening. It's not easy as saying. It would be easy if I do not care at all. Now it's hard cuz I just simply care so much. Going to bed soon after finish watching this episode. Will be waking in afternoon again tomorrow. So peeps, good night and good morning.

No idea

Oh today's still holiday. I already lost count for date and day. Went to grandma's place this morning. So thoughtful of her, still keeping some stock for me cuz I didn't get to celebrate CNY with them. And I'm glad that I'm able to solve her question when she took out some medicines and asked me about it.

After lunch, went to a mall nearby her place for a WALK before going back home. Nothing much for me to buy though. At last, I bought some stationeries AGAIN. I always fancy to buy those thing. LOL. Tomorrow is weekend, asked mum whether we having any special plan..."Stay at home and rest loh.." said she. I guess tomorrow I will be following my mum to church for mass, didn't go to my hometown church for quite some time.

Gotta make appointment for a lot of stuff but I'm kind of lazy to settle all these. Got up from bed to blog a post cuz couldn't sleep. Quite effective also, I'm feeling sleepy now and eyelids are drooping. Ciaoz.

p/s: What should I do?

Not interesting

Finally, the result is out after waited for so many days. I'm glad I've cleared all da subjects. What a relief. Wanna thanks to those informing by sms even skype cuz during that time I was dining out.

All da nightmares, palpitations is over. My prayers are answered. And I wanna say thanks to those for helping me in my studies, let me copy their journals, telling me everything will be alright, ask me don't be tensed when I'm tensed etc. Thank YOU, you-know-who-you-are.

Result made me feel relief but not happy. I'm not running around or jumping around when I know it. Some other thing bothered me. Gotta get up early tomorrow, going to grandma's place. Good night and sweet dreams everyone.

Out of plan

Kinda bored. Stuck at home. Eat, sleep and online..that's all I do at home. I feel damn lazy to go out also. High school having Sports day tomorrow, still thinking whether wanna visit my school provided I can get up early lah... Wanna buy da stuff I want, keep pressing calculator to calculate my budget. It's a headache. Parents are busy, I guess no family trip for this time.

Since I'm so free at home, from time to time, keep checking on da college page for uni result. Finish watching 20 episodes of drama which I started 2 days ago but one more episode is coming out this sunday. I can feel tears rolling in my eyes when I watch it. I wonder whether is da drama itself or other feelings complicate it.

You know what? My mum asked to flip back anatomy books since I'm so free...sweat. She said I gotta save life in future which is kinda true.LOL.

p/s: unsolved puzzle...what happened wei?

Whatcha say

Supposed be sleeping at this hour. I turned off my laptop just now and trying to sleep but I'm not feeling sleepy at all. But mentally kind of tired. Guess not yet fully recovered after exam. I turned on my laptop again to continue with my drama marathon and now blogging.

Reached home around 330pm this afternoon, it was a long journey and kind of tiring. Didn't get to sleep well for two nights plus those days during exam. Last night spent on plane, got some sleep while waiting for plane meal to be served after boarding. The meal was not satisfying at all. Grab 3 glasses of red wine after that. Yea, it made me feel drowsy and I slept for a while till the plane landed at KLIA. Still a bit blur after I woke up though.

The plane landed at KLIA 710am this morning. It took some time for me to get the luggage since 3 planes reaching KL from India at the same time. The same lane is shared to load the luggages. Later I rushed to KL sentral to take KTM train back to Kluang. I was practically running with my luggage to KLIA Express terminal. Thank God when I reached there, a train came. Found a place and settled down. I keep looking the time on my phone and the doors of the train. Faster close lah, I'm rushing. Hoping that I can make it for the 835am train. The doors closed at 802am and journey to KL sentral took 28mins. Means I have another 5 mins to get the ticket and board the train.

I reached the KTM ticketing counter at 835am. I didn't grab the token and straight go to the counter. "ekpress sinaran pagi went off d?", I asked. The lady said the train delayed till 915am. Woh, at this time, only get some time to breathe properly. LOL. At last, the train delayed till 10am. I slept all da way back to home.

Nothing much to unpack. I just wanna get a shower when I get home then grab my laptop to online and drama-ing. Went out for dinner after mum came back from school. Was sitting in front of lappie, playing with my phone till now.

I don't think I will go to bed now though it's 345am. Anyway, good night everyone. Hope that I'm able to get a sound sleep later.

Nil

"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. If one truly wants to change, then that is already the beginning of change in their mind."

It'll be alright, right?

Uni exam is finally over. Mine ended with pathology practical. The last 4 mins for us to finish up writing da answer was kind of long compare to da real 4 mins. I can't wait to finish up all these, go home and take some good rest, do some activity that human beings should do except study. These three days, from 930am to 12pm was da longest time in my life. Waiting for da viva list to be pasted on board seriously tortured all of us like hell. I'm glad I didn't get any border line viva. And I do hope everything will be alright. I wanna enjoy my holidays. The only thing we can do now is pray hard till da day when REAL result is released.

Leaving for Bangalore tonight. Ciaoz, manipal.

Away from Home

Woh, theory papers are finally over. The whole week is really torturing. 4 papers, 8 days. I can't sleep well. Too stressed I guess. When I was sleeping, I'm not actually sleeping. I forced myself to sleep and my brain to rest. Holding a pillow near to my chest, I can feel my palpitation even breathlessness. You get what I mean? It's like your brain didn't get any rest at all after hours of looking at da books. When I closed my eyes, all da images of my books, notes, colors of my highlighter appeared in my mind. Argh. It was crazy. I do hope everything is over, da REAL over.

Something unpleasant happened last week and I'm really sorry for that. Truly, seriously and deeply. From da bottom of my heart. I'm glad you're okay right now.

Happy CNY to my family and friends. Again, I'm not able to join you all for reunion dinner for da 2nd time. sobz.

Battle Begins

The battle begins on Saturday. I hope everything will turn out well and smoothly. Wanna get it through asap cuz I wanna go home. Best of lucks to me and may God bless me. All the best, peeps.

Get going

1 more week to exam. Whoa, it's damn near. HAIH.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MUMMY!!!!!! I love you.

Argh x 10

Stressed. STRESSED. Stressed. STRESSED. sTrEsSeD. StReSsEd.

p/s: Happy birthday, jc.

Monday and Friday

I love Fridays a lot a lot, especially during 2nd year(temporary, I do not like weekends).

Used to like da saying of

"Why Monday is so far from Friday and wth Friday is so NEAR to Monday?",

but definitely NOT NOW.

Anyway, Monday and Friday are still buddies.

p/s: Yea, still left so much to study...What to do? Being too stressed up doesn't help me at all. A little of it will do. Gotta stay positive and "low fire" to concentrate better.

28days Favorites

There's a list of thing I enjoy da most during this 1 month break.

• First one, nap and sleep. I love my bed.
• the time when I'm driving my scooter around
• Hot shower
• Meal time
• When there's actually something going into my brain after I've studied
  

p/s: okay, gotta keep my mood down to concentrate better.

Study break

What is study break?

A. You study 24/7 during this 1 month break.

B. Since it is study break, thus it is equal to holidays, you play for da whole month.

C. You do your revision, in between you have some time for break.

D. You study for 1 or 2 hours per day, then the rest of da time is either sleep or on9ing.

Whatever it is, you need to break da "study". Do not let them make you break down.

p/s: I've learned a new skill on my own today without any "shifu". LOL

在乎？

有些事发生了，很快就能摸清自己的感觉和想法。。。清楚的知道自己要的是什么，马上就有想挽回和尝试补救的念头，就像reflex一样。。。有点怪自己多嘴手痒，也不想追究谁对谁错。。也许这就叫在乎。。。
而有些事说不起是在乎还是什么，就算没有了也不会有那种责怪自己的感觉也许不是很强烈。。。但却有点少了什么的感觉。。。这个又算是什么？

p/s: 人和事都在变，忽略了好多。。。就像那个时候。。。有点控制不来。。。

It's in your hands

Tonight's bbq party with a few friends was fun cuz I like to grill stuff. The smell of smoke reminds me of "masak" event during scouting. LOL. Way to improve in preparing all those food. For me, today is 3rd day of study break. *clicking panic button*

People tell, you listen. Process, do not agree with it, delete it. If you know that they're right, try to change then. Always be yourself at da same time try making lesser mistake and keeps getting better.

Good night, my readers. And happy studying to my batch mates.

How to?

How to survive study break and final exam?

Palpitation

"u r a part of my life..u always present in my life..ur presence makes my heart beat faster. u always keep me awake in d middle of the nite..sometimes u make my life miserable, but i have to accept it bcoz dats who u r..u love me so much that u wont leave me alone...ohh EXAM!!"

Quoted from a friend's facebook shout out

Contradicting

There's always a little truth behind every

"JUST KIDDING"

A little knowledge behind every

"I DON'T KNOW"

A little emotion behind every

"I DON'T CARE"

and a little pain behind every

"IT'S OKAY"

p/s: Quoted from a friend's blog. Wanna post it cuz I know some of my friends will like it.

"studying"

Saw this on someone's tee,
Student + dying = STUDYING

Nowadays, got lots of funny and ridiculous quotes printed on T-shirts and people like wearing it around.

Some examples,

"I only date models"
"Idiots are all around me"
"I'm not drunk, I'm just chemically off-balanced"
"Everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die"

And many more.... Some are funny, some are simply meaningful, some are vulgar...
By the way, it's creative.

When it comes to the end of 2nd year

Block 4 theory papers are over. Practical exams start tomorrow and end on this saturday. There's a viva voce session for microbiology on next monday. After that, STUDY BREAK is officially started once viva session is over then UNIVERSITY EXAM. LOL.

Experience of being a medical student is great, including when dealing with exam, stress, disappointment, or even at the verge of giving up when try to cramp in everything into your brain during last minute study and etc. When I was a kid or even till high school, I think it will be very cool for someone like me who like to have so much fun and playful to be a doctor in future. In my impression, those who saying wanna become one is either very NERD, very obedient to parents, never go out "lepak" or some not even joining co-curricular activities in the school and one more thing, most of their parents are teachers. Their life were just about coming to school, sit in class, attend to tuition class and stay at home. Like I said before, some of my friends mentioned that I do not looked like I have a mum who is a teacher. By the way, I took that as compliment. My parents left most of the decisions for me as I'm growing older. They're just simply trust me. And I swear, I never misuse that.

After entered college, I was still playful but did make some changes in attitude towards studies. I know future is in my hands. The thought of becoming a doctor was more to interest instead of COOLNESS. Plus, I do feel different when I see little animals, kids and ill people...Don't laugh, it is true. Okay, back to present, is not like I do not like "playing" or "having fun" anymore, the position I'm in (as a student and good daughter) and the course I'm taking just simply do not allow me to do so. Seriously, I admit I do not have the capacity to handle all this. So, choice must be made. Studying medicine is seriously, simply not easy. For those who consider entering this life long course and career, think properly and take some deep consideration before making any decision. And for parents who want their kids to be a doctor, think for THEM as well. If it is what they like and what they really want, it will be great.

Though I've said so much, I do not feel regret at all for taking this path. Although for time being, I'm still in doubt whether I will be a good doctor (with brain and with heart) in future. I know medicine is more than that, more than just passing examination. In these two years, I've learned a lot, not just knowledge wise but other aspects as well. Another 3 years to come and I'm willing to strive for what I want.

Morale of da story, all medical students are NERDS, they have to be NERDS, no exception. No worries, NERDS are still COOL. Hahahaha.

p/s: came about this quote at a friend's blog and I like it. "We have so much needs in our life, but at the end of the day, all we need is to be needed."

Impact

Impact of joining med school

New year eve = STUDY
Chinese New Year = STUDY
Xmas eve = STUDY
xmas = STUDY
Birthday = STUDY